"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is my belief that where we go in life as adults is not always dependent on where we begin. Does a happy, carefree childhood ensure a successful, well-adjusted adult? Not always. Does trauma have to determine our course in this world? I think not. Barring severe mental or emotional challenges I would submit that we each have within us the power to take control of our lives and choose our path—to change the direction of that path.
We can choose.
Depending on our dedication and point of entry it may take months or even years, but I believe it can be done.
If we choose.
What we each seek will be unique to us and therefore our paths and destinations will not always be the same. What may be healthy and healing for one will not inevitably be the same for another.
What I wanted and needed 20 years ago is not at all what I want and need today.
In recent weeks I have come to accept that there are bits of my psyche that are broken to the point of being beyond repair. And I’m finally okay with that. I don’t have to poke and prod each and every bit of my past. It is what it is. I don’t have to fix everything. Like a rambling old house that has a relatively stable foundation and no mold hidden in the walls—I can close off some rooms that aren’t in great shape and use the rest of the house to live in.
I am changing my perception of myself one tiny bit at a time. Each day I manage to actually say something good about me-- to me-- out loud. Of course I fall off the wagon quite regularly because I’ve been telling me what a slug I am for decades. But I’m making progress. I may never be able to forgive myself for past mistakes, but I will find a way to accept my failures as irredeemable and put them to rest. Someday I will gain the ability to publicly acknowledge accomplishments as accomplishments and not accidents. I’m not there yet, but I’m looking forward to the day I will be.
For those of you who are comfortable where you are—wonderful. To those of you who are not in a good place, but have worked out a course to get to a position of comfort and acceptance-- I say good for you and keep going.
To those of you who feel you are just running in place—I so well understand. But… I don’t think you have to stay there. Small changes on a regular basis can add up to significant transformation over time.
We can choose to make things happen for us instead of just waiting for things to happen to us.
Old habits don’t die overnight-- they take a lot of killing. But I will never-never-never give up. I know for me the biggest hurdle is learning to believe in myself. I’m still struggling with that one, but I will get the upper hand-- and if I can do it….
"Whether you think that you can, or you think that you can't, you are usually right.”
~ Henry Ford
23 comments:
Are you sure you haven't lived a hundred life-times? You are wise beyond your years.
A little bit at a time.....
darrel
whydepression.info
YAY!!! This is a post that I have hoped for since I first came visiting you, Tricia. You are strong, beautiful, a treasure of a person. You have gifts and talents that haven't even had a chance to shine through yet but I see a sparkle.
What amazes me right now is how fitting your post is with the story that just came to me through the last few days...about the paths in our lives and the choices we make. I'm sure you haven't read it :)
You are right, not everything we face in our life has to direct who we become. I agree with your words, sweet you ♥
Denise--You are too kind young lady. This has been a slow process, but I'm getting there.
Darrel--That is how it has been-- a little at a time. Thanks Darrel.
S Heather--I'm sorry Heather I've really fallen behind in my blog reading lately. There's been a lot of hit and miss reading, but I will get to your post as quickly as I can. This post doesn't really say anything that different than other posts I've written lately-- I guess I just said it better this time. :)
Don't be sorry, Tricia :) We all have been busy living life outside of the blog, including me. I try to catch up on my friends here and there, in between the other daily reading but can't always find the freedom to do so.
I knew you hadn't read the story, I just finished it before I read your post...I just thought they were so timely of one another :)
Your blog looks so crisp.
This wise post says it all.
Yet, I feel delight awaits you at new bends in your path, quite unexpectedly you will realize: "What closed rooms?!"
We wrote the same post - each in our own words. No wonder I feel a bond of care and joy with you, Tricia.
Aloha! The Kingdom is "at hand" you are touching it now!
Comfort Spiral
Tricia, how beautifully written and such an inspiration to all your readers. I always look forward to visiting. I so hope your journey continues on the path well trod.
lindalu
Yes, little bit at a time, baby steps. Thank you for posting this Tricia! Blessings!
Yay, Tricia, all your pain and tribulations haven't been in vain.
I totally agree, we can choose who we are regardless of abusive childhoods, etc. It sounds as if you've come a long way, step by determined (if wobbly) step...and now you begin to reap the good efforts you've sown.
Good for you!
Ain't it the truth?
Congratulations, my friend. I think you're on your way.
I remember a saying that I learned so very many years ago: Shame on my parents for making me the way I am, but shame on me for staying that way.
I think that can be applied to many situations.
You are absolutely right. It is our choice.
The world we choose to see, creates the world we actually see.
I am full of the old cliche tonight, aren't I???
I'm sending you thoughts of strength & faith!!!
S Heather--I went to your page after your comment and read your last installment. I tried to comment, but couldn't access the page. I see we were on similar paths in our thinking. Great minds and all that... ;)
Cloudia--It must be the season! Your optimism is contagious me thinks.
Linda--Thank you so much for such sweet, upbeat words. They are much appreciated.
JBR--You are one I had in mind when I wrote of those who have a course worked out to get to the place they want to be. You are a wonderful example of determination and courage.
Dreamer--Yes, my steps have been wobbly much of the time and I'm sure they will be again-- many times, but I can't quit. I know you understand that feeling because I know you aren't a quitter either. Thanks for the encouragement.
Shabby--Those are the kind of cliches that I like. ;) Thank you.
The mistakes we make in life can teach us a lot if we care to learn from them, they are only bad mistakes if we don't.
Donald Swarbrick.
What a wonderful and uplifting post. This is almost where I am. Although there are still things I cued up to work on, I have come to the conclusion that there are things I will never resolve, and I will have to learn to accept them.
Acceptance is key, I've heard this for years. I guess it's hard to know what I have to accept and what I have to work on, but I'll get there.
You really are inspirational.
Donald--I think you're right. The only problem is that sometimes that is much easier to say than to do.
Shen--Thank you. I'm so happy to hear you are moving into a better place. I agree about acceptance being key and yet so difficult. I wish you the best.
"Someday I will gain the ability to publicly acknowledge accomplishments as accomplishments and not accidents." This brilliant post could hardly be called an accident - even by you, dear Tricia! Thought-provoking and inspiring. So glad you are part of my blogging world.
wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I love this so much because I feel we're kindred spirits - and if you can forgive yourself and move forward then I think there's hope for me too. Beautifully expressed my friend xx
SS--Thank you John for a beautiful comment. That last sentence has truly made my day.
Lil--Kindred spirits-- exactly. You absolutely are headed for the winner's circle young lady. See you there!
I'm sorry its taken me a while to get to this post.
Sounds like you are in fact, getting somewhere! And I can't tell you how pleased I am. :D
I don't think we can proke and prod everything in our past because we really and truly aren't who we once were. And because of that, not everything that once happened will make sense to us now. If you know what I mean?
How wonderful, I have nmissed your insite since being away!
GOOD GOING!
Momm--I'm so happy to see you here. I've missed you as well. I hope you're back to stay.
And I thought your best post was your last one! In the year I've known you, you have come far, but this is an amazing point you have reached in your journey! I am so happy for you.
Hi Tricia - Great Entry - "If we choose" -
waiting for Godot will not be allowed.
My Fav. quote:
"Small changes on a regular basis can add up to significant transformation over time."
I totally agree with you on this post.
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